Dear Sweet Lover
I said I’d share my thoughts when I had a doubt, rather than storing them up and letting them explode out when I cannot contain it anymore. Yesterday, my thought/intuition was that you were spending/spent most of the afternoon/evening making love to your other lover – probably in a hotel room. Your other lover’s Facebook comment today about, ‘memories’, makes me believe, that, yes – the intuition was right.
I’m sharing my thought only – you are not required to defend yourself and deny it – you have said on more than one occasion that she is not a lover. I know also, yes I know. You have already told me what you did last night. You said you were at a birthday party, and I heard you.
I know – it’s none of my business, we don’t have a future, you are not my future, and really, you can do what you like, and that is what I held onto when that thought came to mind. What you do when you’re not with me is none of my business, and I’m not in any kind of position to ask questions. Although I said last time, that I would share my thoughts when they happened, I had decided that it doesn’t really serve any purpose, except to push us apart, (and that’s not what I want), and that I’d keep my thoughts to myself, and work through whatever feelings arise by myself.
This is what I’ve done with my thoughts from yesterday, and I promise, not a peep from me again. I don’t think we can work if I constantly let those thoughts hold any relevance in my mind. Maybe if I pretend I’m in a polygamous relationship, it will help! But I read a story in The Telegraph today, about a fight between two women in a polygamous relationship – so even that style of living, has its problems. What I haven’t worked out yet is why it winds me up, how can I be upset about you having another lover, when you have a wife, Sweet Lover – and that doesn’t upset me at all?
As I said, from you, I am not asking for a response, you don’t have to reply or say anything. I’m just putting it out there, that I’m trying not to care, (about anything you might do, which doesn’t relate to me), or let it bother me. It’s a work in progress, and I’m trying to focus on what is important to me – You.
